How can understanding attachment styles help me?

An attachment styles test can help us to understand why we behave the way we do especially when it comes to connection, belonging and our relationships with others including romantic partners, friends or even people at work.

Attachment Styles - hands cupped round in a circle

What are the different attachment styles?

When psychologists look at attachment styles they are looking at  three main attachment styles, which are Secure, Insecure-Anxious and Insecure-Avoidant.  Below there are sections introducing each of the 3 types and giving you a flavour of how each type views intimacy and connection.

From our research and experience it is possible to score highly in more than one attachment style and so as you read the sections below you may recognise some things in more than one section. 

Secure attachment style

Being warm and loving in a relationship comes naturally to you. You enjoy intimacy and connection without becoming overly worried about your relationships. You take things in your stride and don’t get easily upset over relationship matters. You effectively communicate your needs and feelings to others and are also strong at reading their emotional cues and responding to them. You share your successes and problems with people and are able to be there for others in times of need. And though you have a secure attachment style, it is likely you have or will have relationships with people with other attachment styles.

Anxious attachment styles

You love to be very close to your romantic partners and friends and have the capacity for great intimacy and connection. You often fear, however, that others do not wish to be as close as you would like them to be. Relationships tend to consume a large part of your emotional energy. You tend to be very sensitive to small fluctuations in other peoples moods and actions, and although your senses are often accurate, you take their behaviours overly personally. As a result, you can often react emotionally and tend to act out and say things you later regret. 

Avoidant attachment style (fearful avoidant attachment)

It is very important for you to maintain your independence and self-sufficiency, and you often prefer autonomy to intimate relationships. Even though you do want to experience connection with others, you feel uncomfortable with too much closeness and tend to keep people at arm’s length. You don’t spend much time worrying about your relationships or about being rejected as you are comfortable with just your own company. You tend not to open up to others that you are connected to, and they often complain that you are emotionally distant. In relationships, you are often on high alert for any signs of control or impingement on your territory by others.

Why do I need to understand attachment styles?

Our attachment style (connection) begins when we are born and continues to develop in the first few years of life but once established stays with you for the rest of your life and influences our lives and views about others in many different ways.

It helps you understand why you behave the way you do when it comes to connection, belonging and relationships and determines the way you relate to other people in both our personal and professional lives. 

Knowing your attachment style helps you to reassess the childhood emotional ‘toolbox’ you have and make changes if things from are history are negatively impacting your relationships and success today.

Here are some of the benefits from understanding your attachment style:

How are Discover Insights different to other attachment styles tests?

At Discover Insights there are a few key differences in terms of the reports and the services we offer.

Like another attachment style quiz you can take our assessment online and find an indication of the different measures of your attachment styles.

You are able to read your own report that will tell you more about your attachment styles scores.

But this is where we start to differ from another attachment styles quiz.

Rather than an automatic and computer prepared report our Discover Insights Attachment Style reports are individually created for each individual and are prepared by a psychology trained personality expert. 

But what is more, instead of simply categorising you into one of the main attachment styles, you will be given insights into how you scored across the three main attachment styles (Secure, Insecure-Anxious and Insecure-Avoidant. 

Why? well we believe that everyone, no matter how secure will have moments where their behaviour will be shaped by an insecure attachments driver. This means it is important to understand what is driving behaviour that could negatively impact on both romantic and working relationships.

What makes Discover Insights unique in the marketplace though is that we are passionate about supporting people to not just gain the insights into their personality but to help and guidance to support them in interpreting what that means for their life.

That is why we offer the opportunity for you to meet online for 30 minutes with one of our personality experts who will take you through the key points of your report, explore with you how your attachment style is influencing your personality, your views on connection (trust) and how it could affect your life, work and relationships.

Testimonial

Learning about my attachment style has enabled me to understand how I instinctively react in relationships. I can understand my reaction when I perceived there to be conflict; which can be at times when there is no conflict apart from that I have created in my own thoughts. My behaviour in groups can be viewed through my attachment style, as hey can be viewed as a family.

Having an understanding of the source behind these behaviours has allowed me to reflect on them. This has given me the ability to notice them before they occur and the choice of how I behave. I can forgive myself when I fall into these patterns and see how important that relationship is to me. I have also noticed that I can respond to someone in a way that I would have to my mother, even when there is no connection there, as I have begun to understand that it is my perception of the persons characteristics or the position they hold that has triggered my attachment behaviour.

Book your attachment style assessment

Complete the short form below and a member of our team will be in touch shortly to arrange your attachment style assessment.

The attachment style assessment costs £48 per person and helps identify how individuals typically build trust, respond to stress in relationships, and communicate within teams and leadership structures. Understanding attachment styles can provide valuable insight into collaboration, conflict resolution, and how people react to pressure or uncertainty.

If you would like a broader personality and behaviour overview, you can combine this with the DISC profile and the Enneagram assessment at a discounted bundle price. Simply mention this when our team contacts you and they will explain the available options.

We’ll respond quickly to confirm your booking and guide you through the next steps.

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Book your Enneagram personality assessment

Complete the short form below and a member of our team will be in touch shortly to arrange your Enneagram personality assessment.

The Enneagram assessment costs £48 per person and explores the deeper motivations behind how people think, behave and make decisions. It helps uncover core personality drivers, strengths, blind spots and how individuals typically respond under pressure or during change.

If you are also interested in gaining a broader behavioural picture, you can combine this with the DISC profile and the Attachment Style quiz at a discounted bundle price. Simply mention this when our team contacts you and they will explain the available options.

We’ll respond quickly to confirm your booking and guide you through the next steps.

Book your DISC profile assessment

Complete the short form below and a member of our team will be in touch shortly to arrange your DISC profile assessment.

The DISC profile costs £48 per person and provides valuable insight into communication styles, behaviour patterns, and how individuals interact within teams.

If you would like a deeper understanding, you can also choose to add the Enneagram personality test and the Attachment Style quiz at a discounted bundle price. Simply mention this when our team contacts you and they will explain the options available.

We’ll respond quickly to confirm your booking and next steps.